


Pity Party

by Eightpoundsofhair



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: ;), Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Lapis is kind of a slut, Lapis is the bubbly one, Seven Minutes In Heaven, Underage Drinking, kind of, peridot the moody one, some sexual references but nothing explicit, throwback to that Classic lapidot dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 04:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19041613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eightpoundsofhair/pseuds/Eightpoundsofhair
Summary: Every year the graduating senior class throws a massive party to celebrate the end of high school. Despite the fact that all of the seniors were invited as a given Peridot is still surprised she was invited at all. She hadn't intended on going, parties weren't exactly her thing, but the fact that her long time crush Lapis Lazuli organized the whole thing made her want to go anyway.





	Pity Party

**Author's Note:**

> this lapidot dynamic may feel out of character to you but I’ll have you know that I’m a lapidot veteran and this was still very much in character when I started this literally years ago. So yeah throwback to when Peridot was the moody one and Lapis was the loud one. Good times.

Peridot was seventeen and sitting alone on the cold curb outside of the party. She had a headache, pronounced with each loud crash of the bass from inside and blinked back tears as she kicked at a rock on the ground, grumbling under her breath in her frustration.

It had been her first ever party.

She had thought she was just not much of a party goer but then again she had never before been invited. Maybe there had been a mistake this time around. She likely had never been meant to receive an invitation but either way she got the same one sent to the entire senior class’s party just a week before.

She had heard about this yearly party before, it was local legend at their school, in their town. Staff always tried to prevent it and parents dreaded it but somehow, every year, the senior class managed to throw a huge party at some poor family’s house each year. It was big to get invited as an underclassmen and more or less a given to the upperclassmen but still, Peridot hadn’t expected to be sent that overly casual email with the details at all.

At first she had no intentions of going. Parties sounded less than appealing, so loud and crowded with many less than legal events occurring, yet as she listened to the whispers in the hallway about the party, from freshmen to teachers and even the foreign exchange student, she felt herself slowly changing her mind.

Besides, there was no harming in going and seeing if she would like it.

So she had snuck out of her bedroom window at 11pm on a Saturday night and ran down her street, hoping her mother was too busy with work to notice she was gone. When she turned the corner she allowed herself to slow and before much longer of walking the sound of blasting music was all she needed to find her way over to the large house at the top of the street. And had that not been enough there was always the cluster of kids just outside, somehow already visibly drunk despite the fact that the party had only started a mere seventeen minutes beforehand.

Peridot shook her head at the sight and considered turning on her heels yet before she could a loud, abrasive yelling caught her attention.

“Peri!” it yelled, loud and giddy with joy, “Hi!”

Peridot’s eyes widened as she located the source of the sound, the thin girl with choppy blue locks waving at her with her arms outstretched, barefoot.

It was Lapis Lazuli. The senior who had not hosted but graciously organized the party, sending those emailed invites and ensuring those few juniors who were invited that there would be plenty of beer to go around.

She was popular and unbearably pretty. With curly hair dyed bright blue and softly tanned skin Peridot found herself staring more than she would have liked in those few classes they shared. It didn’t help that the rumors that floated around about her were oh so appealing as well. This jock saying she has abs under her loosely hanging T-Shirts, this one that she has a stick and poke of a fish on her ass. She was a marvel at their school, popular but not bitchy, pretty but not vain, flirty yet not coy about it and the novelty brought about a lot of attention. It was what caught Peridot’s eye initially, how different she was from those other bimbos and her sweat jock boyfriends. Yet this odd sense of separation hardly kept Peridot’s attention for very long. No, that little glimpse of eye catching had only made Peridot realize just how infatuating she was.

Peridot strongly disliked to acknowledge this fact. Acknowledge her, unfortunately somewhat obvious, crush on her. Pretty as she was Peridot couldn’t quite find her deviancy and idiocy ideal, even if she had slowly begun to find those parts of her personality attractive as well.

Yet when Peridot pondered on it, perhaps her personality wasn’t all that bad. A deviant and idiot certainly but at least she really wasn’t mean like those other popular girls. In fact those girls were very open about how they disliked Lapis. They would call her a slut loudly and openly only for Lapis to laugh in response, a laughed ‘Your boyfriend didn’t seem to mind’ tossed over her shoulder with a wink. And while maybe those innuendos, and likely realities, weren’t exactly nice Peridot liked to think those girls deserved it. They were relentless bullies, after all. Peridot knew that firsthand. Lapis at least stood up against them, even when she wasn’t the target of their insults. On more than one occasion she had even stood up against them to help Peridot when they decided to pick on her.

As much as she hated to admit it, those moments when Lapis stood up for her only made her heart grow all the founder. Had helped this little, stupid crush blossom and grow over the course of high school.

Well that and those deliciously exciting rumors spread by those very same mean girls. The one that claimed Lapis was gay.

“That’s why she can never hold a relationship for longer than a month”  
“That’s why she sleeps around so much; she’s overcompensating”  
“That’s why she liked kissing Kate so much at that party a few weeks back so much”

It was mean spirited and most likely fully untrue, believed not even by those spreading the rumors, but it couldn’t help but make Peridot’s heart beat a little quicker when she thought about it. Even when little cardboard signs saying ‘Lapis the Lesbian’ were hung around school with mean spirited photoshop and less than positive language the rumor continued to thrill her. Those little ‘what ifs’ catching her attention and never letting her push down those unwanted feelings; allowing those flustering fantasies to only become all the more intense when Lapis did stand up for her.

“What’re you doing? Coming to rescue your girlfriend?” One of those girls had sneered in the height of this rumors’s lifespan, sneakily eyeing up Lapis when she came to Peridot’s rescue.

That comment had left her a little more than pink around the collar, especially after Lapis had replied with a sarcastically snorted, “Oh, you know it,”

Peridot’s train of thought was sharply interrupted in a moment, before she could finish recalling that memory, however. Her head returning to the present when Lapis loudly called her name again, “Peridot! I didn’t think you’d make it!”, a moment later, jumping off the porch where she stood to come rushing over.

The sight caught Peridot off guard once she was brought back to reality, the weight of the situation catching up with her. Lapis waving and yelling at her of all the people here was a little bit more than unexpected. Especially considering all of the less than PG remarks she had made at some of those who had been invited, wiggling her eyebrows and tossing winks over her shoulders blatantly in the middle of the senior hallway. Those whispered, but oh so obvious, comments had certainly caught Peridot’s attention over the last few days, and Peridot would not have anticipated seeing her of all people greeting her. Didn’t she have better, more interesting things to do than wait at the door?

“Lazuli,” Peridot rolled her eyes forcibly as she was caught in a hug, trying her best to hide the way the touch startled and excited her. Yet before she could even properly acknowledge the feelings she found herself pushing the girl away, the pungent smell of whisky causing her to crinkle her nose in disgust, “I didn’t think I would either,”

Lapis simply laughed, giddily and a bit too loudly, before shrugging and turning on her heels, making her way quickly back inside.

Peridot dumbly followed, her cheeks a rather unfortunate shade of red despite her better judgment.

**

Inside was a mess. Kids screamed and drank too much and made out on all of the available surfaces of the rooms, making it claustrophobic and insufferable. It was a sight she had seen before only in movies, something she had doubted had been real, and for a moment Peridot was left aghast. A real party this truly was.

How uncouth.

Peridot forced her way in nonetheless, somehow shoving her way past the clusters of teens. She shook her head as she went, scrunching her face and wondering how Lapis managed to get through, and disappear at that, so easily. Perhaps she was just used to this. Probably was.

Crowded and sweaty and unpleasant as it was, urging her to turn around and head home while she still could with relative ease, Peridot was struck with some new, hopeful motivation. Lapis was here. And for some odd reason she had been excited to see _Peridot_. So she forced her way past the living room and into the kitchen, where she finally found Lapis. She sat upon a counter in the middle of the room, solo cup in hand a goofy, smirking smile upon her face.

She was talking to some boy, a boy Peridot remembered she had been dating not even a month ago, and laughing. It was clear from the way they smirked at each other that they were flirting, Lapis’s pretty little eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she scrunched her face up at him. He laughed when she kicked jokingly at him, leaning over so he could rest a hand on either side of her makeshift seat, his chest puffed out vaguely in pride.

Peridot felt her heart sinking somewhat at the sight.

Those two certainly made for an odd, but sensible couple, mutually obnoxious and abrasive. Mutually bad at commitment. Seemingly mutually willing to flirt so soon after their formal relationship ended in explosive fireworks. Perhaps it was a good sign enough that they still got along so well even when they had broken up not even three weeks beforehand. Peridot could see them staying good friends through college, if she remembered correctly they were going to the same school anyways.

Lapis’s eyes eventually rose, catching Peridot’s midway through her laugh, however. Her nose was still crinkled, eyes softly squinting as she tossed her head back and lightly kicked her legs. Her hair swinging around her shoulders, catching the light wonderfully. It was an incredible sight, seeing Lapis laugh so astonishingly gorgeously while looking at her. Even if that last part was just a coincidence. Lapis waved at her when she finished her laugh, that big, solid smile not falling from her face all the while. It caught Peridot’s heart, making it do a little small summersault because this time it wasn’t just coincidence. This time she smiled at her. Before Peridot could wave back Lapis’s eyes widened, however, and she lightly shoved the boy away from her with a joking glare as she hopped off the counter.

She cleared her throat, before she began shouting, her voice somehow still mumbled by the loud pulse of the music in the house, but her voice carried enough to catch the attention of most of the people in the room.

“Alright! I know normally these parties are just a lot of drinking and talking but I thought it would be fun to have a group outside playing some cringy teen games!” she shouted, doing her best to carry her voice in the loud space, “If you wanna do that meet outside in a few. I’ll make sure to get snacks,”

With that she darted from the room, making her way back into the living room to presumably invite a few others, grabbing a bowl of chips from the counter on her way out.

Peridot stood uncomfortably in the room, watching as Lapis left and the majority of the teens who had been in the room when the announcement was made exited through a door in the back of the room to head outside. She wasn’t sure if she should follow them. Wasn’t sure if she had really been included in this invitation or had just been here when Lapis had announced it. She wasn’t exactly friends with the people here, after all. It was quite the opposite, really. She wasn’t even friends with Lapis, either. What if they didn’t want her here? What if they made fun of her again? What if _Lapis_ made fun of her this time?

Maybe she should leave. This environment certainly hadn’t been enjoyable so far and Peridot would only be saving herself from humiliation.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her flustered chest as she decided that, yes, she really should be leaving. Yet as she started to turn away, started to step to leave, Lapis came bouncing in through the living room, several trays and bowls of food balanced awkwardly in her hands.

She fumbled through the room awkwardly, eyes focused on the pile of things in her hands, but she stopped when she almost crashed into Peridot, her eyes snapping up in surprise. It took her a moment to calm, her eyes focusing and body releasing its tension and when she did realize who it was in front of her she opened her mouth, head tilting to the side.

“Are you not going to come outside?” She asked when she caught sight of Peridot, eyebrows furrowing downwards in disappointment, voice soft.

Peridot took a step back, eyes darting away so as to break eye contact as she felt herself start to blush at Lapis’s words. The way they were spoken, softly with that easily discernible notion of disappointment surprised her, causing her bubbling anxiety to be pushed out of the way to make room for that swelling of her chest. Excited and flustered at the connotations.

“Um,” she started, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly as she tried to conceal the way her heart fluttered, “I was thinking I should go home,”

“What?” Lapis whined, pulling Peridot’s eyes up to look at her, “I was so excited you had come,”

Peridot found her cheeks turning rosy as she started into those pretty pale eyes, staring at her sadly as she pouted all the while. Her chest felt like it was compressing in the most wonderful way, squeezing at her heart that leaped up into her chest and spun around on the way, filling her with a warm, floaty feeling. But before she could herself get too lost in the moment the hazy look in Lapis’s eyes distracted her.

Lapis was drunk, only tipsy perhaps, but surely inebriated and shouldn’t be taken so seriously right now. Sure that didn’t change her words, or the sincere way they were said, Lapis was still excited that she was here, which was unbearably exhilarating, but she wasn’t herself right now either.

“This isn’t exactly my scene,” Peridot laughed nervously after a moment, the words tumbling together as she spoke them, heart still pounding rapidly behind her chest, “But if you want me to maybe I can stay a little longer,”

Lapis picked up immediately, smile solidifying itself on her face as she sprouted up from where she had stood slightly slouched. She let out a giddy shout, startling Peridot into laughter, before thrusting her hands forward.

“Help me carry some of this then,”

**

It was wonderfully cold outside, Peridot remarked as sat on the grass, hands held up in the air with decidedly more fingers raised in a point than anyone else in their little circle.

Never Have I Ever was not one of Peridot’s favorite games, it was one of the few in which the fact that she always who was a bit embarrassing, but with Lapis giggling at her side it was markedly better. Lapis was one of the first out, before Peridot had even lowered a finger at all in fact, but she didn’t seem to mind. Instead she joked along the whole time, laughing loudly and participating well after she had lost. That sweet jingle, loud and abrasive in the dead of night, was intoxicating, infatuating, and Peridot couldn’t stop herself from staring, from laughing along like most of the other teens in the circle.

But the cold, that cooling, comforting, biting cold, was what really let Peridot keep her head. It shielded her blush, although with as many drunken teenagers as there were around her she was hardly the only one blushing, and helped her heart beat slow as Lapis occasionally leaned up against her, laughing and telling the people around them to target her because she was too far in the lead.

And when the game was over and they moved onto the next the cold helped distract Peridot from where Lapis’s hand had briefly grazed over her own oh so intimately as she stood up, announcing that their next game would “Of course!” be truth or dare. The crowd groaned with laughter, feigning disappointment of the game they had been hoping they would be playing since the beginning.

The game went by in a blur. This kid was dared to do a handstand on the top of the fence, this asked who here had the nicest tits only to reply that it was the guy who had asked him the question in the first place, this dated to chug a mixture of toothpaste and olive oil. It was crude and crass and objectively stupid but Peridot found herself laughing through the whole thing.

It was one of those classic high school experiences she hadn’t ever had before. Kids who usually acted as if they were so mature, so above everything, behaving openly like idiots; like drunken children, which was admittedly what they were. Peridot was surprised she enjoyed herself so much. She wasn’t exactly the type to spend her time watching as groups of her peers behaved so absurdly dumb but the laughter was intoxicating, especially the laughter coming from that pretty blue haired girl sitting oh so close to her.

It made her glad she stayed. Even after she had been dared to eat a clump of grass.

Yet Peridot was especially glad she stayed when one of those kids who floated from friend group to friend group with no real stability decided to ask Lapis truth or dare. She had been a fairly popular choice, in fact Peridot herself had asked her when it was her turn to ask someone, but Lapis didn’t seem to mind. In fact se perked up, sitting up a little straighter as her name was called for the hundredth time, a singsongy ‘truth or dare?’ following.

Lapis laughed, tossing her head back lightly as she did, causing her curly locks of hair to bounce wonderfully behind her head.

“Do you even need to ask anymore? Dare,”

The circle chuckled and Lapis smirked, leaning backwards in the grass all the while.

“Fair point,” that tall, lanky kid replied, smile on his voice as his laughter died, “I dare you to,” he stalled, voice trailing off as he looked around, searching for ideas, “Play seven minutes in heaven!” he eventually decided, voice raised in excitement, eyes wide.

Lapis merely laughed, raising an eyebrow as she started to make her way to her feet, “Is that all?”

Before she could so much as begin to move anymore the boy shook his head frantically, soft blush covering his cheeks, “With a girl!”

The crowd hummed at this, Lapis included, and Peridot stared wide eyed at her. The suggestion was overwhelmingly exciting for a moment. Lapis with a _girl_ , it was everything she had wanted for years. What if _she_ was the one who got to play with her? But the amazingly exhilarating feeling was replaced as quick as it had come with a flash of panic. What if Lapis thought poorly of this idea? What if Lapis was repulsed by the idea? What if-

“Oh,” Lapis laughed, only a moment after that cocky, grinning boy had spoken, stopping Peridot’s thoughts abruptly “All the better,”

Before Peridot could even begin to process the words or the way they made her insides tighten with a thousand feelings her arm was grabbed at and she was pulled to her feet. Lapis smiled at her, smile dropping to a much shyer, genuine one and Peridot was left aghast, mind swimming.

Lapis wanted to kiss her.

Dared? Maybe. But still. Lapis picked her.

She couldn’t focus on the crowd’s shouts and wolf whistles as she was dragged away, her heartbeat was pounding so loudly in her ears that she couldn’t have heard them even if she wanted to.

Lapis curled her hand around Peridot’s softly.

**

A small pantry closet was where the lanky teen boy who had dared Lapis lead the two of them. Right to the side of the back door it was perfectly close to the game outside but away enough for it to continue on without them.

It was also very, very small. Lapis stepped in first, wiggling her way into the spot between shelves, and lightly pulled for Peridot to follow. She did with mild difficulty, doing her best to keep her distance from Lapis, although perhaps that didn’t matter.

When she made it the boy giggled, “See you in seven minutes,”

The door slammed shut behind them.

It was silent for a moment and Peridot was all too aware of where her body touched Lapis’s. They were awkwardly squished together, their chests touching and faces mere inches apart. Lapis’s leg rest atop Peridot’s. Peridot’s hand fumbled for a spot to be that wasn’t on Lapis’s shoulder. They were close. Unbelievably so.

Lapis broke the silence, only moments after the door shut, and Peridot could feel her breath on her face. Warm and shaky it only worsened the very prominent blush that had began to cover Peridot’s face and chest.

“Sorry for picking you,” she whispered, “I panicked,”

Lapis cleared her throat, cutting Peridot off where she had opened her mouth without anything to say, “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want,”

“I,” Peridot started, mind hazy and blank. She wanted to urge Lapis on, ensure her that yes she did want this, had wanted this for years, wanted this more than anything, but she was worried she would come off creepy.

Lapis was hesitating and that was hardly a good sign. Lapis was not the kind to stall if she wanted something, wanted someone, and to the best of Peridot’s knowledge the very fact that there was a wait at all implied that her eager words and demeanor had only been an act, a way to play into her reputation. She didn’t want this after all, Peridot thought to herself win a heavy heart, disappointment bubbling to the surface. But even so she couldn’t find it in herself to say that she didn’t want this, because she did more than she could begin to express, and so she fumbled her way through her words.

“I’m not opposed to the idea,” is what she finally settled on, after a few moments of stuttered panic. She felt as if it was the wrong thing to say the moment the words left her mouth, too vague or too enthusiastic or both, but before she could worry Lapis replied, so quick that Peridot has barely stopped speaking before she replied.

“Really?” she asked, her voice raised and louder with what sounded like optimism. The word all at once reversed Peridot’s doubts and her heart fluttered with nervous excitement.

Maybe Lapis liked her back. Maybe this useless crush didn’t have to be so useless. Maybe that theory that Lapis never dated for very long because she wasn’t straight was true. Maybe she had hesitated because she was nervous. Because this feeling was mutual.

She herself replied back in an instant, voice mimicking in excitement and giddy glee, “Yeah,”

Lapis let out a shaky breath at that, the hot air tickling Peridot’s nose oh so pleasantly as hands awkwardly found their way to Peridot’s hips, grabbing her and steadying her.

“I’m glad,” Lapis whispered back.

With that Lapis pulled Peridot into her slowly, although she hardly need to, her breath heavy and warm against Peridot’s face. Peridot felt her heart rate spike again, picking up speed dramatically as her body tingled with excited anticipation.

This was happening.

It shouldn’t have surprised Peridot when their lips connected a split second later, that’s what they had been dared to do, that’s what she had known was coming, but somehow it still did. Her eyes widened at the feeling of those mildly chapped lips, sticky with lipgloss, fumbling into place against her own, despite all her knowing that it was happening.

It was messy and uneven for a good few moments, Lapis huffing a little noise against Peridot as she realigned herself, but Peridot couldn’t care; her limbs were tingling with excitement, static electricity overflowing her body in unbelievable pleasure. This was something she had wanted for years. To be like this with someone. To be like this with _Lapis_. It was almost impossible for her to believe it was happening

Her eyes finally fluttered shut as Lapis grabbed her harshly by the back to hold onto her. Peridot whimpered at the sensation despite herself, the feeling so astonishing good that she couldn’t stop herself. Not that she had the mind to care, even when Lapis chuckled against her lips, smiling against Peridot until she pulled herself ever so slightly away, leaving Peridot hopelessly out of breath and awe struck.

“What?” Peridot whispered into the air, voice breathy and high pitched through her fuzzy, happy brain.

Lapis merely laughed again, pulling a hand up to stroke at Peridot’s cheek, “You’re so cute,” she whispered back, voice soft and sweet.

Peridot took a moment to breath, smiling dumbly at the words that left Lapis’s mouth, “Really?”

Lapis smiled back, letting out a quick little breath of air from her nose, tickling the peach fuzz on Peridot’s face, “Yeah,” she breathed, “I always thought you were,”

Peridot laughed at that, her cheeks somehow becoming all the hotter, “Wow,” she breathed, head swimming.

It was overwhelming to hear. To feel. To experience all at once. Lapis thought she was cute. Sure that didn’t mean much, it didn’t mean that Lapis felt the same way, not necessarily, but in the context of now it felt like maybe it did. Maybe Lapis harbored some of her same feelings. Maybe this useless, hopeless crush on the cool popular girl wasn’t so bad after all.

“I really like you, Lapis,” is what she eventually said, whispered into the too hot air as Lapis’s hands worked their way around her neck.

Lapis chuckled, “I know,”

And with that they were kissing again, slow and easy but oh so pleasant and overwhelming.

Peridot didn’t believe it. Didn’t believe that this was her and that she was doing this.

It was remarkable. Incredible. Amazing.

When that door swung open abruptly, flooding that tiny closet with a bright, white light that hurt Peridot’s eyes and startled both of them into pulling away, it was all too soon and Peridot was disheartened.

In the heat of the moment she had forgotten what this was. Forgot about that boy waiting outside the door, probably listening in on every word that they shared. Forgot about the music blaring so loudly in the other room that it left Peridot’s head spinning. Forgot about how this was all a dare and not the heartfelt confession Peridot had convinced herself this was.

She was roughly pulled out of the room by that boy, so scrawny yet much stronger than her, and landed harshly on the floor. The sensation, quite literally ripping her away from Lapis, woke up her hazy, pleasure filled brain and reminded her fully of where she was. Just how stupid she had ever been for getting her hopes up in that tiny closet.

She felt the tears welling in her eyes before he even started laughing, felt them coming on before that loud, abrasive sound filled her ears, truly solidifying just how stupid she was.

“Peridot likes Lapis!” he yelled, laughing maniacally as he shouted out the door to the rest of their group who sat outside, “She confessed in there and everything!”

Laughter roared up from the group, slow at first as the group processed but ultimately becoming loud and confident in a moment. The jocks who had loved to tease her throughout school rising to their feet in crowds, their snickering jeers shouted out loudly.

“Idiot!”  
“Dyke!”  
“As if Lapis would be interested in her!”  
“Why was she even invited?”  
“Lapis probably laughed in her face!”

Peridot didn’t wait to hear anymore. She fumbled to her feet and rushed away, running through the kitchen as quickly as she could.

She should have known it was a bad idea to come here. Having been bullied so relentlessly throughout high school she should have known this was all her invitation was. Lapis was probably in on it. She hung out with those boys all the time. Joked with them, cheered for them at their stupid football games, dated them. She only lead her on to get a good joke out of her.

By the time she had made it outside she was in hysterics. It felt like the world was crashing down on her after she had finally felt like things were good. She had been hanging out with the cool kids, not underneath them but as equals. She had laughed at their jokes and they had laughed at hers too. Lapis cuddled against her, almost held her hand. _They had kissed_. And it was all a thought out, malicious plan to upset her. One last jab before they parted ways forever.

The cold outside had lost its comfort as she rushed down the driveway past staring clusters of teens. Instead it bit harshly at her cheeks, chilling her tears and making them feel painfully cold. Hurting her eyes, making them sting behind her glasses. She wiped at them frantically as she went, vision blurry, and eventually tripped, falling forwards onto the curb of the sidewalk just a few houses down from the party.

She couldn’t find the motivation to stand as she collected herself and instead she just sat herself upright, against the hard curb, and curled in upon herself, crying into her knees. And although her sobs slowed to a few calm, tired whimpers the throbbing pain in her chest only increased as she sat and reflected on just how stupid she was for trusting Lapis.

She stayed like that for what felt like a very long moment, shaking and cold in the nighttime air, before someone rest a hand on her shoulder, startling her. She jumped and wiped at her eyes at the feeling as she looked over her shoulder. It was Lapis who hovered above her, leaning over slightly with a sad little smile on her face.

Peridot huffed a heavy breath at the sight, looking away and out into the street, “You here to make fun of me?” she snapped, annoyed at how the tears in her throat muddled her voice.

“No,” Lapis insisted, voice soft yet stern as she leaned a bit forward, “Is it okay if I sit with you?”

Peridot huffed a breath, refusing to look at Lapis, only responding by shrugging her shoulders as she wiped once more at her damp cheeks. Lapis heaved a heavy breath at the sight before slowly lowering herself to the ground next to Peridot.

“I’m sorry about them,” she whispered into the air, voice airy and tight, “I promise I wasn’t trying to upset you at all,”

Peridot shook her head, leaning against her knees as she finally turned to look at Lapis. While she was not looking at her, instead her eyes were turned up at the sky, the expression on her face was sincere. Genuine. As much as Peridot wanted to distrust her, felt that this was just another added insult, she couldn’t help but feel like she was telling the truth.

“Why do you hang out with them all the time?”

Lapis sighed, a soft chuckle falling from her lips after, “I don’t know,”

It was silent for a long moment, Lapis staring up at the sky above and Peridot watching her. Watching the way the light reflected against her skin, highlighting the bridge of her nose and her cheekbones wonderfully. Lighting her eyes to a magnificent shade of blue, matching that of her hair wonderfully. The sight, miraculously, helped to calm some of that frantic anxiety in her chest, so peaceful and mesmerizing that it was hard to stay dizzily worried behind her head.

“I promise I wasn’t making fun of you,” Lapis eventually continued, eyes still staring fixedly on her tightly curled hands.

Peridot took her own shaky breath, scooting a little closer to Lapis so their shoulders touched, “I believe you,”

Lapis looked up at her, eyes soft, “I really like you too, Peridot,” she took a shaky breath, eyes narrowing slightly as she continued, “I have for years I’ve just been,” she trailed off, eyes briefly flickering away before returning, “too scared to do anything about it,”

Peridot took a shaky breath herself, eyes widening and heart pumping rapidly away in her chest.

There was a soft, sad look in Lapis’s eyes as she spoke, quiet and melancholic. It was familiar in a way Peridot didn’t like, that same uncomfortable feeling she often looked at Lapis with, and despite all the skepticism she held in the back of her mind it made Peridot believe her. She looked truthful, with her brows furrowed and eyes squinted in that wistfully reflective way. Sad but a little hopeful, those pretty blue eyes locked with hers.

“Really?”

Lapis laughed, softly and loosely, before she nodded, “Sorry I’ve been too afraid to tell you,”

Peridot let out another shaky breath, chest squeezing tightly with excitement as the moment finally caught up with her. It was overwhelming but so, so, _so_ pleasant. She felt like she could burst from this sharp and abrupt shift in emotions but she couldn’t be too bothered. Couldn’t be bothered at all. Not with how happy she was.

Before she knew it she was laughing; loudly and giddily she laughed while Lapis smiled up at her, that sad little smile shifting and warping into a proper one as Peridot laughed in excitement at her side.

Lapis leaned forwards abruptly, laughing herself and grabbing Peridot’s hands in her own. With wide eyes she stared down at her, leaning in close enough to her face so that Peridot could just feel her breath on her nose.

“Wanna redo our first kiss?” Lapis laughed, smile wide and eyes hopeful, a beautiful flush covering her cheeks.

Peridot’s chest tumbled, heart soaring as Lapis smiled up at her, so wide and genuine.

She nodded.

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna be honest I really didn't like this until I finished editing it. It's still not my favorite but I needed a break from caring about every word I write like I do with caffeine addict to write something easy and quick and all things considered this turned out pretty okay.  
> But anyways! I hope you enjoyed! PLEASE let me know if you did with a comment! And have a great day :)


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